This is a picture of me at 29 weeks 4 days.. The day before i gave birth to Emery...
I actually remember taking this picture i remember thinking.. Wow my body looks so beautiful, I can not wait to meet her... (i could have waited a bit longer though)
Sometimes i wish i could have known, maybe then i could have prepared myself mentally..
Maybe my mom could have been there to hold my hand with j and help me push...
Maybe i could have gotten that first dose of steroid shots that way she could have had the recommended 2 dosages to help her lungs mature..
Maybe i would have had all the birth certificate papers and all the other papers already filled out that way i wouldnt have had to spend 2 hours after giving birth trying to remember stupid things like my address and social lol (i really forgot my social)
Maybe i would have been more prepared..or maybe not..
9 1/2 months later and i still have a tremendous amount of guilt.
I know she is doing AMAZINGLY well but it still hurts, every month for 8 months out of the year she has to get a shot that healthy newborns dont have to...she has to see special doctors to check her progress..any little cough or cold could mean a hospital stay..
We have all been through alot. My sister is pregnant, she has a condition known as a incompetent cervix...chances are she will also deliver prematurely..I can only hope that our experience keeps her strong and that she lets faith guide her way.
You are one of the most beautiful pregnant woman I have ever seen.
ReplyDeleteI know easier said than done but you shouldn't have any guilt. It isn't your fault you delivered early. There was no way you could have known so no use beating yourself up about it. Look at her now, healthy and beautiful.